How to Mindfully Revisit the Past (& When to Put Down the Shovel)

I always thought it would be fun to be an archaeologist. While I like to imagine Indiana Jones-like scenes of adventure and discovery, I know that real archaeology is not all trap doors and treasures. It is a slow, careful, and sometimes tedious endeavor. Not a job for someone as impatient as I am.

Even so, wouldn’t it be exciting to dig deep into the Earth to discover the secrets of ancient civilizations? To learn of the customs of long-dead cultures? Or to uncover artifacts long hidden from living eyes?

There’s no question that archaeology is immensely valuable in helping us learn about our collective past. And the same can be said for a different kind of archeology, the kind where we dig deeply into the strata, not of some ancient civilization, but of our own lives.

With self-reflection, meditation, and working with a coach, we can sift through memories and events from our own past, uncovering bits and pieces of who we were to better understand who we are today.

Understanding our past is often an important step to healing and growth in our lives. It’s not always easy, and you have to be willing to get your proverbial hands dirty. But knowing about the forces that shaped us, the events that affected our beliefs and actions, and the people who influenced us is immensely valuable.

All of these aspects of the past are like pieces of a puzzle that, when assembled, tell us a lot about not just who we are, but why.

But what happens when we dig a little too much, drill down too far, or get so preoccupied with the past that we begin to lose touch with the present?

What happens when we forget to put down the shovel and step away from the past?

It’s tempting to search through our history for resolution, clarity, and healing. We want answers to questions like…

“Why did that happen to me?”

“Why did that person treat me so poorly?”

“Why did I make such poor choices?”

But just because our history is - well, history - doesn’t mean it can’t still entrap us in the same feelings, worries, and fears that plagued us in the past.

Sometimes we look back for answers and instead come back with more questions. And sometimes, rather than clarity, looking back only reinforces regrets and pain better left in the dirt.

There is, however, a way to look to the past in a healthy way. To explore our history without getting stuck and lost in the dark caverns of our past.

And it depends on understanding the difference between perception and perspective.

Perception is a very personal way of looking at the past. We have to embody our past selves to do so, and that means going back into the same mindset, with the same beliefs, the same biases and fears.

But that also means we are prone to relive and re-experience those events while overlooking one simple but crucial fact:

Things are different now. Time has passed. We’ve changed.

Perspective allows us to understand that.

Perception can hold us hostage to the same limited views we had in the past, whereas perspective can be broadened to allow a deeper and richer understanding of that past.

We are not the same person we were twenty or perhaps even two years ago. Even if we’ve had more setbacks than successes, we’ve learned, changed, and hopefully, grown.

But when we approach our past using the same set of perceptions we had at the time, we are still bound by all our same old values and beliefs, and therefore can only really re-experience the past in the same ways we did back then.

This is why regressive therapies, when done carelessly, sometimes result in undue pain or a kind of retraumatization. There is perception, but no perspective.

However, a skilled therapist or coach knows that when you apply mindfulness to the past, you get a kind of “bird’s eye view” of your history. You embody a different perspective - one that is grounded in the now rather than anchored to the past.

Reliving and revisiting are two different things. And when you can revisit even the toughest memories without reliving them, you can see things from different angles, gain new insights, and become a mindful witness to your own history.

When you mindfully revisit (not relive) your past, this perspective also allows you to know when to put down the shovel. The past can be alluring in some ways, tempting us to believe that today’s problems can be solved by studying yesterday’s mistakes. Perhaps some can. But it’s very easy to become preoccupied with past mistakes, past loss, sometimes to the point that we neglect the only time in our lives when we truly have any control - the now.

Spending too much time rummaging through our past can sometimes drag yesterday’s problems into today. And yet for many, the past is something that haunts their efforts to live their lives in the moment.

Imagine being bitten by a snake. It slithers away and you have a bad injury. But rather than seeking medical help with your snake bite, you begin chasing after the snake, for hours, days, years. The wound festers while you pursue the snake, somehow believing that once you catch it, you can discover why that snake bit you and then somehow your wound will heal. 

We know full well, that’s not how to heal a snake bite. Nor is it how we heal any other kind of wounds from our past. We need not spend our lives digging through the past, or chasing snakes to heal.

Revisit your past, for there can be much to learn. But there’s no need to relive it. It’s already been lived, after all. And as you do revisit it, do so mindfully, with a fresh and present perspective of one who has grown and learned.

And remember to put the shovel down now and then, climb out of the past, dust yourself off, and live in the richness of the present moment.

As author Roy T. Bennett so aptly summed it up, “The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.”

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