Reframe the Problem & Examine the Evidence

Life is unpredictable.

Sometimes you get what you want. Sometimes you get what you don’t want. And sometimes life throws you a curveball you weren’t expecting at all.

When things happen that are out of your control, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You might feel powerless, incompetent, unimportant, alone, worthless, or like the world is turned against you.

As a result, overwhelmed folks often turn to destructive coping mechanisms that are effective at numbing the pain of the moment, but that leave even bigger problems in their wake, moving them further and further away from their goals.

These harmful coping mechanisms often take the form of alcohol, drugs, binging TV, overindulging on unhealthy foods, berating others, gambling, doom-scrolling on social media, excessive online shopping, or other counterproductive behaviors.

And sadly, the more you use these methods to cope, the more likely you are to fall into a vicious cycle of pain, numbness, disappointment…

…and eventually addiction.

So what can you do when things turn sour? How can you weather the storm called life without getting drenched in the downpour and thrown off course?

It all starts with focusing on the things you can control in life.

While you’ll never be able to control the weather, the stock market or other people….

…there are four things that are always under your control.

They are:

- How you feel
- How you behave
- Which people and situations you attract or become attracted to
- What meanings you assign to what happens in life

It may not seem like much, but these four things combine to create your reality.

The problem is, not many people realize that these are things they can control. Instead, their feelings, behaviors, attractions and meanings happen automatically outside of their awareness.

Remember, you can only control what you are aware of.

But even if you are aware of these things, how do you put them to work when things don’t go according to plan?

Cognitive Reappraisal is your ability to use the four things that you can control in your life so that you can turn any bad hand you’re dealt into a winning strategy.

Through Cognitive Reappraisal you can change your emotional response to a situation, turning it from a stressful encounter that normally would have overwhelmed you into a more manageable inconvenience.

So, how do you use Cognitive Reappraisal?

Here are two powerful Cognitive Reappraisal techniques and how they work:

Technique #1: Positive Reframing

Have you ever witnessed the same event with friends or family members, only to later realize that you all had completely different experiences?

Maybe you were at a backyard barbecue and everyone saw Grandma slip and fall into the pool. Don’t worry, she was fine and everyone had a good laugh.

As you recall, Grandma was in the middle of a story and took a step backwards into the pool by accident.

But according to your brother, Grandma was actually distracted because her phone rang and she was trying to see who was calling, and didn’t realize how close to the pool she was.

Your cousin, on the other hand, says Grandma was actually laughing so hard at her joke that she must have lost her balance.

And your Aunt recalls that the dog ran by and knocked Grandma into the pool.

This is an example of how four people can witness the same thing but all come away with four different experiences.

So what really happened? Is it possible that all four people’s perspectives were true?

Yes - they could all have been true! Each person was merely focused on a different thing that occurred in the two seconds it took for Grandma to fall into the pool.

This is the basis behind Positive Reframing.

When something happens that was unexpected or unwanted, we can sometimes focus on the most negative parts of the situation.

We’re out of milk, now my breakfast is ruined!
Look at all this traffic, I’m going to be late for work!
My brother canceled on me, now my weekend plans are out the window!

But within every negative situation, there lies the seed of a net positive. The trick is to find that seed and nurture it. Focus on the silver lining of the stormcloud.

This will help you reframe the event in your mind so you can gain control of how that event affects you.

We’re out of milk, which is great to know since I was going to the store today anyway.
Look at all this traffic, I’m sure once the construction is finally done this stretch of highway will be much safer.
My brother canceled on me, now I can do whatever I want this weekend.

These are the same situations, but because we are changing the focus of the event from a negative to a positive, we can choose to:

Create more beneficial feelings
Engage in more productive behaviors
Attract & become attracted to more positive things & events
Apply more useful meanings to what happens in life

It’s not easy, and at first it will require some conscious effort of awareness. But with practice, you can start to create a habit of Positive Reframing so that whenever something unwanted or unexpected happens, you are more resilient and less bothered by it.

Technique #2: Examine the Evidence

Everybody has an “Internal Map of Reality” in their minds that helps them contextualize the events they experience, the people they meet, and the effectiveness of the actions they take.

This internal map was created when we were kids, is heavily influenced by parents, teachers and caregivers, and is what we use to measure success or failure. We also use that map to help make assumptions about people and situations.

But sometimes, especially if we’ve been wronged in the past, betrayed, hurt, or suffered other traumas, we can make assumptions about a person, a situation, or even ourselves that are less rooted in objective reality and more rooted in unconscious fear.

For example, let’s say you are a great artist. You’ve drawn people and animals since you were a kid and you’ve really honed your craft over the years. You even went to art school and your teachers were blown away! And you did some work for an art studio, too.

But let’s also say that your parents would often criticize you for putting so much time and effort into art, when you “should have been” studying for a law degree or becoming a doctor. They would scold you, call you worthless, and dismiss your artwork as a hobby rather than a real career.

As a result, it doesn’t matter how good of an artist you really are. In your mind, in your “Internal Map of Reality,” you’re a failure. So you might have low self-esteem and be hyper-critical of your artwork. You don’t even apply to artist jobs or work on your art anymore because you fear that you aren’t good enough.

This is where “Examining the Evidence” comes in.

Examining the evidence requires taking stock of the facts and excluding the negative assumptions you might be making of yourself or others.

The evidence here is:

You got good grades in art school.
Your work was praised by industry leaders during an art exhibition.
You’ve been paid before to do work as an artist and that client was happy with the result.

It takes awareness to realize when you’re making negative assumptions, and to be able to identify the evidence through a neutral lens.

But if you can start to incorporate that evidence into your internal map as a replacement for the negative assumptions that are counterproductive to your goals, you can start to overcome that fear of failure and begin to make real progress.

The common thread of these Cognitive Reappraisal techniques is awareness.

Awareness creates choice.

With enough awareness, you can find the right way to frame any situation to your benefit.

With enough awareness, you can overwrite the negative assumptions and beliefs that aren’t rooted in reality and that hold you back from your potential.

So - how do you improve your awareness?

The easiest way is to meditate daily (especially with Holosync).

Meditation improves the brain by reducing stress levels and improving prefrontal cortex function, meaning you can think more clearly and get less frazzled by life’s inevitable curveballs.

Remember, you can only gain control over the things you are aware of!

Whether you want the convenience and high-tech features of our CRI-500 Custom Wireless Earbuds…

…the cushion and fidelity of the CRI-300 Wired Headphones…

…or the lightweight & powerful CRI-400 Wired Earbuds…

Right now you can get the perfect pair that’ll take your sound experience to the next level!

And when you order today we’ll also scrap the shipping fee!

Just use the code: ShipFree at checkout!

Take advantage now while you can.

“Within every negative situation, there lies the seed of a net positive.
The trick is to find that seed
and nurture it.”
- Ryan Standifird

Every time I listen to Holosync, I feel better.
Every Time.

~Tracy M
Holosync User

Do you have a lemons-to-lemonade experience?
Drop me a line and tell me about it!

Post your story on our Facebook Page.

Not on Facebook? Tell me about the impact that meditation with Holosync has had on your daily life. Stress? Sleep? Weight Loss? Focus? Spiritual Connection? Other? Email your story here.

Pay It Forward: 

Your story may profoundly affect the life of a person you never meet, but who will be forever grateful.