The #1 Secret to a Long & Healthy Life:
A Robust Social Life
By Bill Harris
One of the greatest minds of the 20th century, Napoleon Hill, had it right when he said:
“No mind is complete by itself. It needs contact and association with other minds to grow and expand.”
If you’re not familiar with Napoleon Hill, he was the author of many profoundly impactful books, including Think and Grow Rich and The Law of Success.
I can tell you that he was also one of the most influential people in history...
...and in my own life, personally and professionally.
I bring this up, not to reminisce about the good ‘ol days, but to pass on an important principle to you…
..a principle that turns out to be the #1 key to living a happy, healthy and fulfilling life:
The principle (and the power) of community.
Hill understood this power. He developed the concept of a Mastermind Group to leverage the minds and hearts, knowledge and passions…
...of two or more people with a common purpose.
To summarize this for you with a clear, concise action item that will change your life for the better:
Surround yourself with good people and cultivate relationships with them.
Aristotle said, “the Whole is more than the sum of its parts,” which presaged our modern concept of synergy…
...and the power of the collective.
Because we know how crucial social connections are on the “journey” through life, with its setbacks, disappointments and inevitable losses.
...we’ve been working really hard at Centerpointe lately to create and encourage a robust community platform.
This platform, anchored in Facebook, is a place where you can gather online, to connect with like-minded people…
....who are also on a meaningful journey through life. People who have questions, and answers, and stories to tell.
People who are struggling and need advice and encouragement, as well as people who are celebrating their achievements and successes.
Why is this important again? Let’s get back to the science:
The Brigham Young study I mentioned above shows that social connections, with friends, family, neighbors or colleagues…
...improve our odds of survival by 50 percent.
Low social interaction, on the other hand, can be measured in how it compares to other risk factors. (These statistics blew my mind!)
Isolation is:
- Equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day
- Equivalent to being an alcoholic
- More harmful than not exercising
- Twice as harmful as obesity
You might as well eat, drink or smoke yourself into an early grave (which I most adamantly DISCOURAGE)...
...as isolate yourself socially.
So, that was the bad news. Here’s the good news and a few key THINGS that positive social engagement will bring into your life:
BYU researcher, professor Julianne Holt-Lunstad, said there are many pathways through which friends and family influence health for the better…
...from a calming touch to finding meaning in life.
“When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility for other people,” said Holt-Lunstad…
...“that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks.”
Timothy Smith, co-author of the BYU research, says that “modern conveniences and technology can lead some people to think that social networks aren’t necessary.
“We take relationships for granted,” he said. “We’re like fish that don’t notice the water.”
Constant interaction is not only beneficial psychologically but directly impacts your physical health.
Scientists at the Mayo Clinic agree. “Friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being,” according to a 2016 staff report, which also states.
Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. They also prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship in return.
Friends can also:
Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
Social connections also play a significant role in promoting good things for your overall health, including a reduction in:
- Depression
- High blood pressure
- Unhealthy body mass index (BMI)
So, seriously, get connected! Make new friends, deepen your existing relationships, reach out to others.
I want to end this article with a really important concept, stated elegantly by Winston Churchill:
“We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.”
Serving others, whether it’s through a kind word, an unrequited favor, or your vocation, contributes to a strong sense of meaning and purpose in life…
...that nothing else can give you. (Or take away from you...come to think of it.)
There are hundreds of opportunities every day to do what seem to be small things, but which mean a lot to the person you favor with your “service.”
Do these things not for any reward, though there will be rewards, to be sure.
Do them because you’re a human being, and being good is what you’re supposed to do.
As the Chinese proverb goes:
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.
In case you’re wondering if this is all pie-in-the-sky, magical thinking, I can assure you that scientific research provides compelling data to support “kindness.”
It truly is “better to give than to receive” because giving provides a powerful pathway to personal growth and lasting happiness.
Researchers using fMRI technology, demonstrated that the act of giving activates the same parts of the brain that are stimulated by food and sex.
It turns out that kindness is hardwired into your brain...and it’s pleasurable!
Helping others may just be the secret to living a life that is not only happier, but also healthier, wealthier, more successful, and deeply meaningful.
So try this: Stop worrying for a minute about what you deserve, what you can get out of a social group, or what’s in it for you.
Put aside the question of what you were born to do, and ask instead:
What was I born to GIVE?
Then act on that, and watch your life change.
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Wise Words
“Surround yourself with good people and cultivate relationships with them.”
- Bill Harris
This Really Happened
"I felt like super woman and no stress all day. I can’t believe I’m like this and the people I’m working for see it as well! My mind was and is in overdrive, I had a plan and kept to it, everything went smooth, even the grown kids were happy with all I accomplished today, I’ve never gotten so many compliments for doing my job in all my life, this is not the way things usually go for me!"
~Dorothy C
5-Day Challenge Participant
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